In this complex domain of family dynamics, the way parents interact with their children can have an indelible impact on the child’s behaviour. The experiences and bonds woven within the familial fabric play a major role in laying the foundation of a child’s mindset. A child’s mind is like clay, easy to mould and reshape but once the child grows and starts to absorb concepts and as realities of the family start to unveil in front of them, the child starts taking the form of the parental behaviours.
Parents act as a guiding light on our pathway, they teach us how to tackle the challenging situations in our life, to celebrate our victories. But hey, what if that guiding light we look up to, casts a shadow on itself? What would happen to your path if that happens? Oh no! Do not worry! Let me introduce you to the concept of TOXIC PARENTING. A topic which you might relate to and if not, you might be able to empathize better with your friends and batchmates.
Growing Up: A Blissful Journey & the Role of Toxic Parenting
The journey of growing up can be a wonderful experience, a staggering abundance of memories, a whole lot of experiences, accompanied by friends and family, it’s all like an enchanted forest where our parents are like trees and children are the roots. Toxic parenting is a scenario where the tree is kind of rotten. It is when parents, maybe inadvertently, plant the seeds of negativity, self-doubt, stress, fear, and confusion into their child.
Do you remember a moment when you wanted to take a step toward your dream but you couldn’t? Moments where you felt like everything you were doing was wrong? Or moments when you were not appreciated for winning? Moments when you were too harsh on yourself, moments when you criticised yourself for not being good enough? Toxic parenting might have been playing a role in all those life conditions.
Understanding the Signs of Toxic Parenting
The good news though, there’s a silver lining to the dark clouds. It can all get better with the right approach. It takes a lot of patience, but it is not impossible.
First of all, you need to understand whether you really are a sufferer of toxic parenting. The parental signs include excessive control and restrictions, emotional manipulation, guilt trapping, constant criticism, conditional love, favouritism and a lot more. If you have figured that being happened with you on a frequent basis, then you might be a sufferer of toxic parenting.
By spotting the signs, you are one step closer to unravelling the mess. Also, make sure to differentiate between the constant nagging of your parents and your sky-high expectations, it can sometimes be your sky-high expectations and your victim mindset that is making you feel like you’re suffocating.
Breaking free of toxic parenting means finding your voice, speaking your heart out and daring to be you (without literally raising your voice), and not worrying about what people might think. It is like being a superhero, raising your sword, ready to face the dragons that hide within a toxic relationship with your parents.
Healing from Toxic Parenting
Let us now talk about the main part; HEALING. It might be a cliche but DO NOT GIVE UP. DO NOT LOSE HOPE. I know you’ve been carrying all that weight by yourself. Maybe you do not even have a friend to share your emotions with or maybe you are also being physically abused. Maybe it is all too much to take. But, you’re a FIGHTER, you will not give up. You got this, you will conquer. You have to be ready to break the chains, it might hurt even more but that would be temporary. Drop the baggage, embrace yourself and most importantly, make yourself financially independent. You have to figure out how you are going to be financially independent.
The tale of toxic parenting isn’t just about breaking free; it is about thriving. It is about ditching the self-doubts, the anxiety, and the fear that has been deeply embedded into you, do not hide away from those flashbacks, be brave and face them. Look at your past self and contemplate the fact that you have grown better instead of bitter. Do not inculcate the values of your parents and wear them as a badge of validation for your mistakes or shove it down others’ throats. Learn that those characteristics displayed by your parents were wrong and promise yourself that you are not going to do that to your kids.
Be gentle, be calm, and be influential; be a person others can look up to. Do not go around insulting your parents. What they did might have been wrong, but that doesn’t give you the right to smear their reputation. Maybe who they are today is a result of the toxic parenting they experienced in their childhood. It is up to you to break this chain of a toxic environment within the familial walls and fill it with boundless love and peace instead.
Seek help, and walk out quietly (if it is unbearable) but I request you not to become the person you always hated. Do not be a burden to your child. Be a role model that radiates calmness and encourages positive transformation.
To Sum Up,
Toxic parenting is a really bad experience for a child and it cannot be concluded in just one article but to wrap it up for you, dear traveller, toxic parenting doesn’t define who you are. You are behind the wheels of your life. Do not let the bad experiences define your character. Steer towards the path of healing, stand tall in the face of adversity, and LET YOUR STORY BE THE GUIDING LIGHT FOR OTHERS ON THE SIMILAR ADVENTURE.
About Ritik Gurnani
The emotions portrayed above are taken from the diaries of Ritik Gurnani, an individual like any other, set on a journey to explore and uncover the mysteries of this life. Driven by a genuine desire of serving people and making connections, he found his calling as an Optometrist at Gurnani Chashma Ghar, located in Rajapur, Prayagraj. To contact him, or to ask any eye related queries, contact him at +91 8308288736.
Beyond the realm of enhancing vision, Ritik strives for a positive approach towards every kind of life experience. He has been striving for a life brimming with peace, and like everyone, he has his share of highs and lows but he has grown to be a little more rational than he used to be. Hardships have played a major role in shaping him up but he did not let those tough situations have the upper hand and continued to be humble and kind.
With each and every thought provoking experience, he takes some time out of his day to contemplate upon those experiences, what could he have done differently to have a better outcome. About the spiritual journey, it has been on & off for Ritik as he used to be too disappointed with bad experiences and tough situations while taking steps toward his spiritual growth. Currently, he is trying to make a settlement with life about being calm and present regardless of good or bad experiences.
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