My first love came second in my life

Aditya and I were in love for six years and living together. We were entirely in harmony and ignoring all judgments in the neighborhood. We were working professionals in the software industry. Living away from families with financial independence, we have freedom. Finding love was the cherry on top. We were lovebirds, totally dedicated to loving each other. Our relationship has dominated us, and we always wanted the presence of another one. The presence of Aditya completes me. We had a craving for each other and were getting connected.

After moving to 1BHK in Bengaluru, we were having the golden time of our life. We were refusing all marriage proposals coming from our families firmly. Even the disapproval of “living-in” by families doesn’t matter to us; we were going strong every day. How to test a perfect and soothing relationship?
Subtract one job and add a negative ego. The recession hit, and Aditya lost his job without any notice. That was the lowest of his time. His financial background was weak, and he was sending half of his salary to home.
I tried to support him financially, but that never worked out. He didn’t get another job; this hurts his ego, which was the primary factor to part us shortly, which I ignored. Never let job or money or any failures part a couple.

Our love cupid was slowly flying away through the window, and I was dumbstruck. We fought on minor issues and never cared for each other like in earlier times. Most of the time, he was anxious and provoking arguments over petty things. Minor issues converted to big mountains of frustration and made him more anxious. I couldn’t help him. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. And no end to useless fights over TV, uncleaned dishes, household chores, arriving late from the office, etc.

I could not calm Aditya. He looked for a quick fix to the solution, and I wasn’t part of the solution. Yet another disgusting fight happened over TV serials and cricket matches. I argued to watch TV serials, and he reverted that this is useless shit. He wanted to have a glimpse of the cricket match. I was already fed up with his unpredictable nature and frequent disgusting behavior added to alcoholism. I resorted further with some more arguments. With so much anger in his eyes, he smashed the TV. This uncalled event added fuel to more rage we had broken up in disputes.

I thought these were just troubled arguments, but hell no !! Insecurities were playing loud and waiting for him to come back. It never happened. I wish I could know what is happening in his mind? How could someone abandon after six years without notice? Which desperation was driving him? How could a probable life partner become the deadpan stranger? How could they go away after a fight? I was always worrying, calling his friends for some contact information but no sign from the universe.

This technology-driven world has made us outraging ill-mannered. Therefore, to avoid any confrontation and emotional drama, people broke up over texts nowadays; the same happened to me after spending so much time with him. An unknown number text made me more furious, saying, “don’t wait up for me; we have broken up.” No courtesy was left in him even to say this in person. I was calling that unknown number, hoping to be a prank, but no answer.

The amalgamation of disgust towards his cowardice, anxiety, love, worry, the pain of abandonment, and fear of an unknown future was rushing into my spine, head, and heart. An invisible comfort was ripping off because of mere insecurities. Relationships are always helpful in good times, but it takes a lot of work and emotional investment to keep afloat in the sea of deadly surprises thrown by life in bad times.

Maybe this was not enough, surviving through all emotions and beating myself up, trying to find a peephole of hope and light. This hole of faith got closed after one year of survival when I realized that Aditya has married a rich girl and got a job in Bengaluru. It was enough for my parents, too, and they were pressurizing me to marry a businessman.

My groom was also under pressure. We could never connect and tried to drag our marriage further. But the forced marriage was ruining us. Therefore, we decided to call it a quit, address the incompatibilities, and weigh it enough not to waste in the loveless marriage.

Time passed in a blink. I filed the divorce in court and needed a mutual separation. In this turmoil of events, I got a good look at my haunting past. Aditya was talking to a legal advisor, and I took the courage to startle him. I had mixed feelings without thinking of what to say. After that, I approached him. He was equally shocked to see me, and I asked him a reason to visit the court.

He apologized for his instant disappearance and told me he came to the court for the divorce. After five years, he called my name “Mahi” and pleaded to have another chance. He hugged and asked for forgiveness for the pain he caused. All my aggression had faded away before his pleadings and melted into lost longing love. We were not aware that court proceedings would unite us. So life can even happen when one is at the lowest point of life.

It was not just cupid who flew back but was maturity asking for forgiveness and begging for togetherness. Our relation was faded in the time tides but had enough strength to float afterlife adversities.

We are hoping again, building again, and living back with utmost gratefulness.

–Mahi’s story