How to be happy - A Guide towards Happiness

Happiness, a feeling, a state of living, a state that might seem hard to achieve. Some people call it a path, some call it the end result, and some people say it is a byproduct. What is HAPPINESS? How do we achieve it? Is it something to achieve, pursue, or something else? Is it like the way they say, be happy, and the universe will give you more reasons to be happy, or is it like a pursuer says, if I get money, I’ll be happy. If I get more marks, I’ll be happy or if it were winter, I’d be so much happier. If it were raining, I’d be so much happier. Seems like a trap, doesn’t it?

Not gonna lie to you, I have been in that state of confusion, and I am sure everyone has encountered this state of mind. What should we believe, what should we follow? As a person having suffered from the “perfectionist mentality disorder,” I must tell you the answer is simple, but the practical experience is difficult. You cannot believe what you cannot comprehend. Our mind is not made in a way to simply believe what we hear and come across. We need reasons, logic, science, stories, and every other thing to align to believe something we are told. I won’t make you wait; let us together explore the mysteries and complexities of HAPPINESS.

WHAT ISN’T HAPPINESS?

More than the question, “What is Happiness?,” the question, “What isn’t Happiness?” is important to understand. Most people and motivational speakers are so busy conveying the meaning of happiness that they forget to emphasize what doesn’t bring us happiness. Let us first understand what things DO NOT bring us happiness.

Chasing money as a part of the rat race
Finding happiness in late-night parties
Believing that drinking and smoking lead to happiness
Going out with friends and laughing at their jokes
Binge-watching movies and playing games for happiness
Seeking validation from others for happiness
Believing that worldly possessions guarantee happiness
Engaging in social media comparisons and fleeting dopamine moments
Pursuing fame and popularity as a path to happiness
Ignoring negative emotions for happiness
Trying to escape problems by indulging in distractions

All the points mentioned above might arouse a feeling of temporary happiness, but in reality, they are just an illusion of happiness. One should understand the deeper meaning and a more authentic sense of happiness.

DOES HAPPINESS AFFECT LIFE?

Happiness contributes to positivity and adds up to the positive character of a human being. When people are happy, they are at peace with themselves, and no one can deny the scientific benefits that include good sleep, improved diet, reduction in brain fog, lowered blood pressure, lessening the risk of heart diseases and whatnot.

Mental and Emotional Well-Being: The positive emotions connected to happiness, such as joy, gratitude, and contentment, contribute to mental and emotional well-being. That is why we do not call happiness an emotion because happiness results from a group of emotions.

Happiness enhances our endurance, patience, and perseverance. We can cope better with challenges and setbacks when we are happy.

When we are happy, there are lesser chances of facing anxiety or depression or OCD or any other health issues.

Physical Health: Science has proved that when we feel happy, our brain stimulates the release of certain chemicals like dopamine and endorphins and decreases the levels of the stress hormone oxytocin, thereby stimulating our nervous and muscular systems, which results in better physical health.

Social Relationships: When we are happy, we emit certain vibes, and we all know that vibes attract, and hence, we attract happy people in our life. We spread happiness, we make people’s day better, we understand others better, we encourage others to be happy, and before we know it, we have already positively impacted people’s lives. We leave an indelible positive impression on people.

Work Performance: Another benefit of being happy is that we perform better at our workplace. We give our best every day when we are happy, thereby having greater job satisfaction and successful results.

Altruism: Happiness is associated with a greater sense of empathy and care. Happiness is a link to a greater willingness to help others and be kind to people.

Embrace oneself: Happiness acts as an angel with our back when we feel low. Happiness allows us to be okay with failed attempts. Happiness is a motivational pill when we are buried deep in our stormy thoughts. Happiness allows us to forgive ourselves.

EXTERNAL FACTORS & HAPPINESS

External factors refer to everything that is happening outside the inner world. Something that doesn’t happen with-IN is happening with-OUT, but still, we humans have the tendency to pay more of our attention to the things happening in the outside world rather than observing what is happening in our inner world. Most people do not even have boundaries separating their inner and outer worlds. People you see around yourself, 99% of them are wandering in this world, doing their everyday chores, participating in the rat race, not knowing they are nurturing their subconscious mind through the tasks they perform every second.

You, my friend, have also been the victim of being a pet of your external factors. Somebody was rude to you, it ruined your day. Someone abused you, you abused back, someone tried to provoke you, and you got aggressive. Maybe you scored less in your exam, and yes, it is okay to feel sad about that; I am not giving a blind shot motivational speech. It’s not that you should be happy every moment, but it is necessary to keep your inner atmosphere stable. Happiness is not a feeling on the surface, it is something we experience on a deeper level. Let us discuss some of the relatable external factors that stir up our happiness.

Criticism: We tend to lose our cool when we are criticised, and it is acceptable; we are only human, but the question you need to ask yourself is, “Is your anger going to change them? Are they going to stop talking behind your back?” And if your answer is NO, you better work on your mind to stop taking those words so personally.

Rejection: Most of us do not have the capability to handle rejections, and we give up on our happiness as soon as our request is denied or we are not accepted at a college. Being sad over the rejection and taking inspiration from it and bouncing back better than before is the best reaction to a rejection. In no circumstances should you lose your inner stability and happiness just because of a rejection. The universe always has better plans for you.

Looks: Yeah, as silly as it might sound, some people are affected by how they look, and the prevalence has increased ever since the rise of social media. People display their brief moments of happiness and glow up, and we, the consumers of social media, perceive it as the everlasting happiness and beauty of their skin. This comparison causes us to lose our confidence. We should be comfortable in our skin and wear confidence as the best of our look.

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

Now that we have understood a LITTLE BIT about happiness let us try to define Happiness. We can all have different definitions of happiness, which is absolutely alright. You do not need to have the same definition of happiness as someone else because your life and your circumstances are different from everyone else.

According to me,

“Happiness is a deep sense of inner contentment, where joy arises from aligning your values, purpose, goals, and connection with the world. It is a state of exuberance that transcends the fleeting pleasures, resonating with the core of one’s being.”

To simplify,

Happiness is a sense of inner peace, the feeling of inner satisfaction with whatever you have been blessed with, and you align your purpose with the people you spend your time with. Happiness is a deep state which should be unbothered by passing experiences and circumstances.

HOW TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS?

“Happiness should never be pursued. Happiness is a by-product of living a lifestyle” – DANDAPANI

DITCH THE SHOW; GIVE ZERO DARNS

You have been blessed with this life not to satisfy others or live up to people’s expectations. These people are not your family; they are like seasons that have come to pass. You do not need to give them an ear or act according to them. Do not try to please people by changing your habits or lifestyle. You will only end up being in the shoes you did not belong in, which is an injustice to God’s creation.

UNWAVERING FOCUS

Our elders are right to tell us to focus on just one task at a time. It allows distractions to fade and creates a deeper connection to your experiences. Giving your undivided attention to a specific task keeps you from brain fog and allows you to give your best at that, boosting your performance.

HELPING OTHERS

Our emotions work so that we experience happiness when we help others. Engaging in acts of kindness and service to others gives a sense of fulfilment and helps us ground ourselves and be humble.

INTROSPECTION

Please dedicate 15 minutes daily to thinking about how you could have improved your day. What amendments you could have made to make a positive difference in your and others’ lives. Introspection is a GAME CHANGER.

MEDITATION

Regularly practicing meditation can have serious positive effects on the mind. You can practice breathing meditation, chanting meditation, Mindfulness meditation or you can experiment with them one for each week and then come to a conclusion as to which one suits you the best. Long term effects of meditation can declutter your mind and improve your focus, thereby, increasing your overall lifestyle.

PRACTICING GRATITUDE

Appreciating the life we have been blessed with should be our daily practice. We should acknowledge the blessings and positive aspects of our lives, fostering a grateful perspective.

SIMPLICITY AND MINIMALISM

Embrace a simpler lifestyle, focus on essentials, let go of material excess, declutter your mind. Categorize your life based on your priorities and practice preparing a to-do list for daily tasks to simplify your day and thus, simplify your life.

There is no end when it comes to speaking and discussing about Happiness, but let us wrap it up with a quote by Topher Kearby:

“It’s not about being happy all the time, or being sure of all your choices. It’s about knowing that life is precious, even when it’s tough.”

About Ritik Gurnani

The emotions portrayed above are taken from the diaries of Ritik Gurnani, an individual like any other, set on a journey to explore and uncover the mysteries of this life. Driven by a genuine desire of serving people and making connections, he found his calling as an Optometrist at Gurnani Chashma Ghar, located in Rajapur, Prayagraj.

Beyond the realm of enhancing vision, Ritik strives for a positive approach towards every kind of life experience. He has been striving for a life brimming with peace, and like everyone, he has his share of highs and lows but he has grown to be a little more rational than he used to be. Hardships have played a major role in shaping him up but he did not let those tough situations have the upper hand and continued to be humble and kind.

With each and every thought provoking experience, he takes some time out of his day to contemplate upon those experiences, what could he have done differently to have a better outcome. About the spiritual journey, it has been on & off for Ritik as he used to be too disappointed with bad experiences and tough situations while taking steps toward his spiritual growth. Currently, he is trying to make a settlement with life about being calm and present regardless of good or bad experiences.

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