Silent Heroes of my life – by Nivi Karnad

Almost all of us have this love-hate relationship with our parents at different stages of our lives. Mine was no less. Long after you are all grown up, you realize that they have done a lot and sacrificed a lot for you.

We begin to reflect on the little memories we had pushed and locked away somewhere. We realize that they are our real heroes.
I can proudly say that I have more than one hero in my life.

I was a sickly child, which made me miss school and study. But I did have great teachers who understood my capabilities and my shortcomings and guided me well, giving me the freedom to learn the way I wanted, the way I could.

I still turn to my memories of my teachers, Mrs. Priya Kulkarni (English), Mrs. Shanta Pathy (SS), Mrs. Godbole (Arts), Late Mrs. Shobhana Bijur (Principal) on how they helped me in my circumstances. They all guided me and gave me the confidence to face this world. I have implemented their unique teaching methods in teaching my students now.

In the chaotic mess of childhood also lie a few sweet memories of my grandfather, father, and brother carrying me around, teaching me things, showing me the world and its endless possibilities. One can say they practically half homeschooled me cause I was more at home than in school due to my health.

My Grandfather, Late Shri Gopalkrishna Kowshik, used to carry me around the house and veranda when I was a baby, singing bhajans, shlokas and telling me stories of Gods. He also taught me pooja videos. He instilled in me the strength of faith, self-discipline, and love.

My father, Late Shri Kishore Kowshik, taught me everything by example. When anything needed repairs, he took out his toolbox and showed me how to use screwdrivers, pliers, etc., to repair electric and telephone wires.

He used to prepare the displays of stalls for his office exhibition, which consistently won accolades and prizes. He used to stay focused and sit for long to work on his projects or anything else that he undertook. When there was a celebration at home, he cooked delicious meals for the guests and taught me many trade tricks. He made me a bookworm, and we used to spend late nights reading novels. He also got me a library membership.

My mother, Mrs. Shrikala Kowshik, is the epitome of sacrifice. She also struggled to manage the entire house of a joint family with relatives often visiting as extended family on a mere salary of my father. She sacrificed a lot of her time to keep everyone happy. Our house also used to have many guests, relatives visiting us most often. She spent most of her time in the kitchen to make sure no one, including our guests, went hungry. Late Shri Shridhar Rao Bailur’s father was a freedom fighter and a poet. His birthdate and mine are the same. So, everyone believes that I have inherited a few of his writing skills. I never got to meet him as he died before my parents married, yet hearing his stories from my mother, I see how his qualities of self-sacrifice have reflected in my mom.

My mom has inherited her cooking skills from her mother, Late Mrs. Prema Bailur. Everyone in our family always calls her to ask for recipes that her mom had taught her. She is full of talent, and I learned a lot of unique art from her, like knitting, sewing, painting, etc. She also is an expert in Sanskrit and has written a few books in the language. I followed her passion for creative arts and languages to become an excellent teacher to my students.

My brother, Bhushan Kowshik, is eight and a half years older. He took care of my every need and still does. He never allowed anyone to scold me in my childhood. Now too, he is very protective of me. He taught me to persevere behind what we don’t know and explore options. Even though he stays far away, our brother-sister bond remains strong as ever. He also taught me the use of computers and how to fix problems related to them, whether hardware or software. He never got tired of my persistent questions and always answered me patiently.

My maternal uncles and aunties are my unsung heroes who have showered me with love and cared for me a lot. Like my father, my eldest maternal uncle, Late Shri Jitendra Bailur, had a helping nature. They both never looked back nor said no to anyone who sought help. My dad was a medical rep and had a vast knowledge of medicines and thus helped a lot of poor patients get medicines at discounted rates. My eldest maternal uncle was the glue that kept our family bond strong. Everyone went to him to seek his advice on problems they faced, be it relatives, friends, or colleagues. Jiten’s mama taught me to be humble and kind to everyone.

My youngest mama, Shri Jeevan Bailur, and his wife, Mrs. Nutan Bailur, dote on me. They have taught me the importance of having a solid bond between relatives. Both treat me like their daughter. Nutan Mami always knows what everyone likes. She has also taught me to put care and thought into gifting to others. My Elder mama, younger mama, and many have taught me the importance of family, love, and trust.

Any family member had problems, Jeevan Mama and Nutan Mami are always there to help. They are the silent heroes who seek nothing but always give. People with few words know what to speak and when to speak. I have learned to be patient, understand everyone’s temperament, and try and hold a family bond together because of them.

My two maternal aunties, who consider me their daughter, always ensured I got what I needed during my student years. My elder Maasi, Mrs. Mridula Dhareshwar, with her husband Shri Mohan Dhareshwar, has taught me never to give up hope. Leading by example, they have instilled in me the strength needed to face the most challenging times in life with a smile. They faced so many situations in life with a big smile and never showed any signs of giving up. They have also taught me to believe in myself and my inner strength.

My younger maasi, who is my mom’s cousin, Mrs. Geeta Amladi, and her husband, Shri Anand Amladi, have shown me the path of truth, love, and understanding. They treated me as their daughter and always took care of my needs. They also taught me valuable lessons about how important it is to invest and save for the future. I have always called them to seek guidance during tough decisions in my life. They inspired me to make a significant decision in my life, for which I am always grateful to them. They both have guided me and supported me.

I am privileged to be the only sister in my maternal side of the family, and thus all my cousin brothers, younger or elder, dote on me. Although we hardly get to meet due to time and distance, we still manage to keep in touch now and then and make sure we spend festivities together.

My elder cousin, Mr. Manish Dhareshwar, has inspired me to follow your passion even later in life. His love for photography which he cultivated after the age of 40, has shown me that I can pursue my passions at any age and that seeking knowledge has no age limit. He has also shown me how we can calmly face difficult situations in life.

One can not only learn from their elders but also their younger siblings. My younger cousins Tejas Bailur and Aditya Amladi dote on me and never forget to wish me on my birthday, even if I am guilty of forgetting to wish them on theirs. They both used to save their pocket money and buy gifts during Rakshabandhan and Bhaiduj. They both are immensely talented in music and have inspired me to persevere one’s goals without giving up.

Who says small kids can’t inspire? Both my son Hardik and daughter Hridayaa show me that miracles do happen. Both are miracle babies. Doctors told me that I might never get pregnant, considering my ill health. But breaking all odds, my son Hardik was born premature, with an enlarged kidney and a thin valve. He suffered severe pain for many years, but we had to wait for him to grow strong enough to have an operation. At the age of 9, he underwent a 5-hour long surgery. The pre-operative tests were too painful, but he gave me courage instead of crying. Seeing him endure his pain and the willpower to get better quick gave me the strength to face my demons.

I had planned to adopt a child ever since I was in college. This dream of mine also came true when we got confirmation that a baby girl was ready to be adopted by us on my son’s operation. We had applied through CARA about a year before, and we didn’t even see the picture they sent. We just saw the birthdate, 31st August, three days after my son’s, 28th August. It was as if meant to be. Her smile and cheerful attitude make me believe in a beautiful future. We decided this was it. We belong to her, and she to us.

I have faced a long history of health and family problems. Depression hit me every step of my life. I was a loner, even in a crowd. But both my kids inspire me to look forward to the future and keep giving me the strength to come out of my depression every time. Even through tough times, the solid invisible bond between my family members and me has not weakened.

Then some are not related to you, yet create an everlasting bond of love, care, and protection. One of them is Dr. Jairam Iyer. He is my brother’s school friend. Since childhood, he has considered me a sister and never missed a single Rakshabandhan or Bhaiduj, no matter where he is. He also cares for me and gives me timely advice. I also have a deep respect for him and admire his achievements through adversities.

Without mentioning my other rakhi brother, Late Farhad Wadia, this article won’t be complete. He faced many difficulties in life, lost his parents early, and lived alone. Yet he was happy always. He was my husband’s childhood friend but considered me as his sister. He was always helping and cheering others. I have never seen or met a person with so much enthusiasm other than him. He also used to love to celebrate each festival with us ardently. The day he died, I felt that I had lost one of the pillars of support in my life.

I have had many friends in my life who I always treasure. But my story won’t be complete without mentioning two crucial friends in my life – Sandhya Jadhav and Shrikala Nalkoor-Stalekar. Sandhya has been a powerhouse of strength, tolerance, endurance. She gives her all to help others, to take care of her family in every problem.

She has the biggest genuine smile on her face, even in difficult times. Her never-give-up attitude shows me the ray of hope from darkness to light every time. Quite a few people have misunderstood her kindness, but I know how much she sacrifices her health and happiness for others, whether they are related to her by blood or not. Whatever I say about her would be significantly less.

Shrikala has been my friend since my marriage. We met through a community get-together. I got to know her slowly and felt a strong bond between us growing. She also inspires me to persevere in my passions, just as she does in her life. Her happy-go-lucky attitude is addictive wherever she goes. I want to always be like that – happy go lucky.

These people have been a great source of inspiration throughout my life, leading with examples and not my advice. I have also observed how they interact with everyone, tackle difficulties in life, and keep faith in good karma. I have also seen them all go through difficulties in life headstrong, determined, and come out victorious.

There are many people in my life from whom I have learned a lot of positiveness. The list is unending. All of them I haven’t mentioned in this story are important and integral parts of my life. They are my family of friends. I have also been lucky to have met them every step of my life, from school to now. They continue to hold an extraordinary place in my heart for them.

Without them all, I would not have been the person I am today.

Our Storyteller – Nivi Karnad

An avid reader from childhood, Nivedita Karnad (pen name Nivi) has kept her passion for writing poems and life experiences since her college days. Her drive to write comes from her adventures and experiences. Through writing, she feels that one can express one’s inner feelings, making one free from the burden of life. Thus, she began a new content / creative writing journey with www.storyofsouls.com.

She left her thriving career in business development in interior design to dedicate her time to homeschooling her children and follow her passion for writing. Her love for languages inspired Nivi to start Sanskrit Fun Learn classes from home in her free time. It further led to their parents asking her to teach other subjects similarly. Today, she has about 15 students, each unique, who show passion for learning new things differently.

Nivi also believes that learning should be fun and makes tough, boring subjects interesting to learn by engaging with her students. She encourages her students to read and write in different languages, just as her teachers had inspired her to. Reach our writer at Nivedita Karnad.

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